guYS I WANT A TATTOO OF SOMETHING BY E.E. CUMMINGS FJOIEJFFFFFFFFFFFFF
ok yes
thank you
bye
Friday, May 10, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
In which I'm still learning who I am.
I have not had much time to read for fun lately. I legitimately can't remember the last book I read for fun.
We did, however, begin to discuss Islam in World Religions yesterday. I thought this would be the religion I'd be the least interested this semester, but it has turned out to fascinate me way more than I had originally believed.
My mom grew up in a country that, although predominantly Catholic, also has a very concentrated Muslim population. Many of the words in Tagalog, the national language of the Philippines, are actually borrowed from Arabic, like Salamat-po which is the most common greeting- "Salam" is Arabic for "peace." My dad has been teaching at the English Language Institute at the University of Delaware for a few years now, and this year, his students are predominantly from Saudi Arabia. This has also increased HIS fascination with the country, its relationship with the religion of Islam, and the effect of Islam on the culture of the nation.
Yesterday during my free period, I began to read the Qur'an. The first chapter was strangely captivating, and honestly I found it much easier to read than the Bible. I don't know if that's just because I have grown up with the Bible and all the stories contained within; they have been drilled into my head since I was a little girl, and I'm a bit tired of them. To experience a completely different point of view and fresh(er? I mean, it's not BRAND new...) take on monotheistic religion is pretty eye-opening to me.
My favorite verse comes from the second chapter, verse 28:
How can you disbelieve in Allah when you were lifeless and He brought you to life; then He will cause you to die, then He will bring you [back] to life, and then to Him you will be returned.
I don't know what about this verse struck me so much. This whole year, I have been trying to find meaning in life, and it's been a very difficult journey. In a way, I have completely lost my faith, but now that I've (hopefully) gotten through my tiny atheistic existentialist oh-holy-poop-there's-no-meaning-why-not-just-kill-myself-and-get-the-purposeless-suffering-over-with phase, I am searching for a new faith that really speaks to me. Not to say that I'm going to convert to Islam. Also not to say that I won't. I don't know. Right now, I'm just searching and trying to find myself and find something that I feel gives me meaning.
I guess what strikes me about this verse is that I have spent this entire year in lots of doubt and disbelief. It gives me a bit of comfort to think that maybe this god, Allah, has caused all of this for a reason, and at the end of it all, I'll be returned to him. Like, of course you should believe! Because you exist! It'll be okay. He'll get you through it. Strangely, this is exactly what I wrote about after the car accident, but on the opposite side of things- arguing that god does NOT exist. But for some reason, the way the Qur'an has been putting everything, as opposed to what all of the people from my church had been saying about "giving up my problems to God," has gotten to me more.
In any case, I'm determined to get through the whole Qur'an. I don't think I've ever even read one whole book in the Bible. I've tried, but never succeeded. I'm hoping this turns out well, or at least helps me discover SOMETHING about myself and my own faith, whatever it may be. I'm still learning.
We did, however, begin to discuss Islam in World Religions yesterday. I thought this would be the religion I'd be the least interested this semester, but it has turned out to fascinate me way more than I had originally believed.
My mom grew up in a country that, although predominantly Catholic, also has a very concentrated Muslim population. Many of the words in Tagalog, the national language of the Philippines, are actually borrowed from Arabic, like Salamat-po which is the most common greeting- "Salam" is Arabic for "peace." My dad has been teaching at the English Language Institute at the University of Delaware for a few years now, and this year, his students are predominantly from Saudi Arabia. This has also increased HIS fascination with the country, its relationship with the religion of Islam, and the effect of Islam on the culture of the nation.
Yesterday during my free period, I began to read the Qur'an. The first chapter was strangely captivating, and honestly I found it much easier to read than the Bible. I don't know if that's just because I have grown up with the Bible and all the stories contained within; they have been drilled into my head since I was a little girl, and I'm a bit tired of them. To experience a completely different point of view and fresh(er? I mean, it's not BRAND new...) take on monotheistic religion is pretty eye-opening to me.
My favorite verse comes from the second chapter, verse 28:
How can you disbelieve in Allah when you were lifeless and He brought you to life; then He will cause you to die, then He will bring you [back] to life, and then to Him you will be returned.
I don't know what about this verse struck me so much. This whole year, I have been trying to find meaning in life, and it's been a very difficult journey. In a way, I have completely lost my faith, but now that I've (hopefully) gotten through my tiny atheistic existentialist oh-holy-poop-there's-no-meaning-why-not-just-kill-myself-and-get-the-purposeless-suffering-over-with phase, I am searching for a new faith that really speaks to me. Not to say that I'm going to convert to Islam. Also not to say that I won't. I don't know. Right now, I'm just searching and trying to find myself and find something that I feel gives me meaning.
I guess what strikes me about this verse is that I have spent this entire year in lots of doubt and disbelief. It gives me a bit of comfort to think that maybe this god, Allah, has caused all of this for a reason, and at the end of it all, I'll be returned to him. Like, of course you should believe! Because you exist! It'll be okay. He'll get you through it. Strangely, this is exactly what I wrote about after the car accident, but on the opposite side of things- arguing that god does NOT exist. But for some reason, the way the Qur'an has been putting everything, as opposed to what all of the people from my church had been saying about "giving up my problems to God," has gotten to me more.
In any case, I'm determined to get through the whole Qur'an. I don't think I've ever even read one whole book in the Bible. I've tried, but never succeeded. I'm hoping this turns out well, or at least helps me discover SOMETHING about myself and my own faith, whatever it may be. I'm still learning.
In which I have a bit of a meltdown.
So I had a bit of a meltdown on Sunday- last concert at St. Mark's ever! ;-;
I don't know how to deal with this. Ogod. Halp pl0x
I don't know how to deal with this. Ogod. Halp pl0x
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